Smallville Lazarus Review

Our episode picks up right after the Season 9 finale. Clark Kent has fallen like a (pardon the pun) a meteorite from the sky to the ground below and is found by Lois in the rain. Screaming for him to wake up, her cries are unanswered. Clark's surroundings meanwhile begin to change.



Clark opens his eyes to find himself in the middle of a cornfield where the sky is green. Interesting concept of the afterlife, but not much different from what we saw in "Void." No angelic choirs, no land of clouds, no golden gate...heaven is just the stuff you can't wait to stop looking at on those long, boring road trips.



In front of a scarecrow Clark hears Jor-El's voice and asks if he's dead. He's actually in limbo and Jor-El tells him that because he died, he's left Earth and all the other heroes vulnerable.



Well gee, Jor-El, did you ever consider what his options were? Because they were pretty much a) get stabbed by the blue kryptonite or b) go to another plane of existence with the Kandorians. Both of those choices mean that he's not there to protect the Earth!



Jor-El also tells Clark that there's a dark threat that the heroes will face without him now and because of this, Earth is screwed six ways from Saturday. Clark demands to be sent back, but Jor-El goes silent and a silhouette appears of a bald man in the cornfield. Clark recognizes him as Lex and the afterlife disappears around him.



Lois has pulled the blue kryptonite out of him, tosses it away and makes sure Clark has regained his life. She walks away when she sees the first breath and stays in the shadows as Clark stands up, lets the yellow sun heal him and then speeds away.



At Watchtower, Chloe watches the footage of Oliver being kidnapped by someone who says "We're coming for all of you." But Clark manages to come in. Chloe is curious of how he's still here, but Clark explains he died but came back to life. After Chloe lies that the team is safe (well, one member is unaccounted for, but you get the idea) Clark says that Jor-El warned him of a dark threat and that he saw an omen of Lex. Chloe goes through several files of old Luthorcorp projects, but they're all declared as dead as old crome dome himself.



Too soon of a joke, or poetic irony? You tell me.



Chloe recommends that Clark goes to the Daily Planet to look for old research files for a company that Lex may have hidden back in his early years of business. Or how about the big freakin' techno tower that you're standing in that breaks into more firewalls than James Bond breaks out of restraints!



Well in the meantime, Tess wakes up from the dead in the middle of a laboratory. She peals back on the plastic on her face to see that it's completely healed. So the whole scarring was for nothing huh?



Tess walks through the lab to find out its Cadmus Labs, who have several deformed humans floating in liquid, all of them labeled Lx. She opens a door to a room where she sees a young boy with red hair. She asks him his name to which he responds, "I'm Alexander."



In the middle of nowhere, Oliver Queen is blinded and being interrogated. Apparently the first method of torture his captors had was healing him of his big "Z" burn scar, because our shirtless archer doesn't have it anymore. The guy wants to know what Queen was doing, to which he says about the aliens, but of course the man doesn't believe him. Instead he grabs a pair of shock probes and begins to turn up the juice.



At the Daily Planet, Lois surfs through old newspaper articles of Lana Lang, Pete Ross and Chloe to realize that all of them knew Clark's secret.



Well, a) how does a newspaper article tell you that they knew Clark's secret? And b) Lois never met Pete!



Clark speeds in to see Lois, who is happy to see him alive. She speaks about the Blur laying a kiss on her, saying that it was great. Clark smiles secretly but then says that it's pretty cocky for the Blur to do something like that. Lois says that kissing the damsel might just be one of the superhero's weird fetishes.



Hey, you should know lady! You got dressed up like Esmerelda for him back in "Escape!" Seriously, that's one fantasy I don't think we need any context for!



Lois secretly knows Clark is after something big at the Planet so with a convenient drop of a pen, she lets him speed off to grab the files on old Luthorcorp companies. She asks Clark if they can talk later and they arrange to meet at the Kent Barn that night.



At Cadmus Labs, Tess realizes that Alexander and his "brothers" are all clones of Lex. Alexander tells her that they were to be used as organ donors in case Lex needed them later on in life.



I'd say Lex needs A LOT of organ donors right about now!



Apparently Tess' healing was due to some of the Lex clones using their tissue and organs to heal her. Now that arises two interesting questions.



a) How coincidental is it that Tess has DNA that matches so conventiently well to her ex-boss?



b) What kind of super organs did Lex have that could return somebody to life? Or, was it all Granny Goodness' doing?



Tess hears a shudder from behind a door and is warned not to let "the bad ones" out. But of course, an older clone of Lex grabs Tess as Alexander runs for safety. The Lex clone remembers everything the original Lex did and says there can only be one Lex Luthor, before setting the lab on fire.


As Clark calls Chloe to ask what info she got, Chloe is busy at the JSA Brownstone to get help from another source. Clark hears mystical whispers over the phone chanting "Nabu", but Chloe has hung up. She asks to know where Oliver is before slipping on Doctor Fate's golden helmet. Clark finds her unconscious on the ground.



At Watchtower, Emil Hamilton treats Chloe who wakes up to tell Clark that she saw Cadmus burning and a vision of him in a more colourful costume. Clark speeds off and Chloe tearfully whispers to Clark "goodbye."



At the Kent Barn, Lois goes from a picture of her and Clark to the gift that Martha Kent left for him. She opens it to see a blue and red Blur costume (yes, we all know what it REALLY is, now hush) and tucks it away. But just then, the Lex clone shows up to smack her unconscious.



At Cadmus, Clark finds Tess healed of her scars and hancuffed. He lets her loose and is told about the Lex clones. He left her alive to give him a message, he'll meet him at Lawson's Field.



Lois wakes up to find herself strung up on the scarecrow post with a big "S" spray painted on her, just like Clark was by a bunch of high school jocks in the Pilot episode. Lex shows up to explain those events, how it was the first time he saved Clark, and afterward all he got was betrayal from him. Lois recognizes Lex and asks what happened to him. He replies that he's evolved and gained better insight, knowing that Lois is now Clark's greatest weakness. With that, he walks away and sets the field on fire.



Wait a minute, it's one thing for the clone to know everything Lex did. It's a totally different for him to know things that Lex couldn't know about! You know, on account of HE'S DEAD! How does Lex know that Clark is the Blur? Okay, a little obvious, but here's something more specific. How does Lex know Clark is in love with Lois? They were not dating when he was alive! The last person Clark loved was Lana, who Lex DID keep him away from!



Does Cadmus just give him all this information for fun? Does Lex Luthor have a will that says "And to my beloved clones, I want any piece of relevant information on Clark Kent to be passed onto them. So that one day, they may have the revenge I never had! Oh...and I also leave them behind my Scotch collection and the Porsche."



Clark confronts Lex under a big tree and both of them look in surprise of the other's appearance. Clark wants to know where the real Lex is.



Dude...clones! CLONES! Lex went kinda BOOM-BOOM!



The clone explains the real Lex is dead, and challenges Clark on everything he's become. He says that he's more dark than he's ever realized; proud and self righteous. He says it all started from the day he saved him on the bridge and Clark never let Lex forget it. Lex says that the only reason people call him a hero is because he's responsible for all the evil he stops. Angrily, Clark grabs Lex by the throat and begins to choke him until he sees the blood dripping from his nose.



Lex admits that he's dying because of his mutated form, wishing he could see the world turn on him when he fails them. He tells Clark that there's a bomb strapped to the Daily Planet globe and that Lois is about to burn at the same time, saying he's not fast enough to stop them both. Clark then speeds off to prove him wrong.



I understand what Lex is wanting to do, but you kind of think he'd be just a tad bit more crafty with a plan like this. It's a great plan, I admit it. But if Lex REALLY wanted to hurt Clark, he would have pulled out a chunk of Kryptonite, waited a couple minutes and said "Well, now your cake is gone and your stomach is empty! Hahahaha!"



But instead the Lex clone dies, Clark saves Lois and super leaps to catch the Daily Planet globe from landing on a bunch of people. He puts it back on top of the building and then speeds back home to see the costume his mom made. But suddenly, the Key transports it and him to the Fortress of Solitude where Jor-El is waiting.



Uh, excuse me if I seem a little harsh but...WHAT?!



Zod said in the Season 9 finale "You will never talk to Jor-El again!" when he destroyed the Fortress' console. Now not only is Jor-El talking to him, the Fortress is fine and the console has been repaired. Clark did not have the time, nor ANY REASON to fix the Fortress console. How did this happen?! And the first person who's answer is "it's just alien technology" gets one swift, metaphorical kick in the groin!



Clark says that now he knows he's become the hero he's meant to become, that he's ready to step into the light. He admits that when he caught the Daily Planet globe, it felt like he was flying. Smiling, he realizes he's ready to accept his destiny.



WHOOHOO! Cue the John Williams music! We have ourselves our Superma...!



Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Why? Because Jor-El tells Clark that now he's become egotistical, proud and arrogant with himself. To be honest, to get a small glimpse of that in Clark when he's there in the Fortress, but it's more of Jor-El taking a precaution of the first step.



Now this took some adjusting to. After all, fans don't wanna here that they're childhood hero is being told "You're full of yourself." Keep in mind, Clark is NOT Superman yet.



But here's the point of Jor-El's argument that DOESN'T make ANY SENSE AT ALL! Jor-El tells Clark that the dark threat he warned about in limbo, was him.



BULLLLLLLLLCRAPPPPPPPPPP!!!



That doesn't even BEGIN to make any logical sense! Think about it! Jor-El told Clark that the dark threat was going to be fought by the heroes WITHOUT him, because he was DEAD! How can he be the dark threat, when he's FREAKIN' DEAD?! Furthermore, Jor-El says things like "If you had ruled with strength, this would never have happened..." You are telling your son that he's turning into an arrogant brute! Ruling with strength is the one thing you DON'T want him to be doing! And thirdly, is Jor-El just looking for an excuse to complain about Clark?



Clark goes up to New Krypton with the rest of the Kandorians, he's disobeying Jor-El. Clark sacrifices his life trying to stop Zod from taking over the world, he's disobeying Jor-El. Clark returns to life, saves the woman he loves as well as dozens of innocent people, and he's still disobeying Jor-El! What does this guy want from Clark other than the impossible?!



The thing Jor-El is disappointed with is that Clark's arrogance nearly led to him killing Lex. Fair enough, THAT is a logical standpoint. But need I remind you that back in Season Five's "Vessel", Jor-El told Clark to KILL Lex Luthor in order to stop General Zod from having a body?! I understand the circumstances are different, but don't just start bickering from your crystals when you tell your son "Kill this guy" one season and "Don't kill the same man" another! No wonder Clark didn't want to listen to you, you're totally contradicting your own morality!



I swear there is a malfunction in this Fortress! What the frig's going on?!



Well Clark, naturally, is ticked off because no matter what he can't please Jor-El. With the costume frozen in the ice, he speeds off and the Fortress shuts itself off.


Back at Oliver's interrogation, his captor tells him that he's being let loose. Ollie says that he'll find the guy, but the captor reminds him that he doesn't even know who he is, but that he knows Ollie is Green Arrow now. It turns out Ollie has been put into a hostage exchange, where he's returned to safety while Chloe has in fact taken his place as a prisoner.

Tess meanwhile has brought Alexander home to the Luthor Mansion. Maybe she's not a cat or a dog person. Alexander is busy playing with some of Lex's old toy figurines while Tess gives him a glass of milk. We're then shown a closeup of the fire where Alexander has put one of the figures in there to burn.

Lois holds a picture of her and Clark while a tear falls from her eyes. With the realization that she's Clark's greatest weakness, Lois has gone to Egypt. She looks out to the horizon, wondering just what will happen now.

Clark meanwhile finds Lois' letter, telling him that she's gone. He drops it, then looks into the distance to see what appears to be Jonathan Kent fixing a fence.

Now look what you've done, Jor-El! You've cracked your own son's mind!

Alright, it's not stated whether this is Jonathan's real ghost or not, but his knowledge would seem to imply that it's the former. While Jonathan tells Clark that he's better than he could have ever hoped him to be, Clark says Jor-El is still disappointed. Jonathan remarks "Since when did you start listening to Jor-El."

Clark: "Oh not too long after you died....oh....awwwwwkward."

Clark says that Jor-El's right about the darkness in his heart, that he took his anger out on people and destroyed and entire building (Zod's solar tower) and now he knows he has the ability to kill inside of him. Jonathan says the true measure of a man is how he chooses to react in the face of trials.

Is Jonathan telling Clark to take the Kobyashi Maru?

Jonathan recognizes his own anger from where he was alive. How he wanted to kill Lionel Luthor to protect him, but instead the anger cost him his own life. Jonathan tells Clark that we can't make excuses for the dark stains on our hearts. He believes all the sacrifices Clark has made over the years have build up anger that has to come out sooner or later. Frustrated, Clark says that every time he does something right he does something wrong.

Clark wishes Jonathan there for him, to which Jonathan agrees, but says that this is a time he's gonna have to get through without him. Jonathan says Clark has the second chance to get rid of the ghosts haunting him and it will turn him into the greatest hero the world has ever known. He tells Clark to prove Jor-El wrong.

Jonathan does agree with Jor-El on one thing however, something dark is coming and he's going to be tested. Jonathan tells his son that he believes Clark is strong enough to overcome that test. Clark turns around to ask Jonathan what's coming, but his dad has vanished.

On top of the crow's nest, a dark cloud begins to swirl around until it reaches one of the gargoyles. The cloud takes a humanoid form, showing bright white eyes, a helmet around his head while it growls menacingly.

Alright, I'm all for Darkseid coming on Smallville, and if they're only going to treat him as a "force" for the beginning of the season, that's fine. But let's look at the comics here. Darkseid wouldn't walk into a bathroom without wanting to scream his own name, because his ego is THAT big. He thinks he's a God, he's more pompous than Major Zod was. The guy's a mastermind, but if he's invading Earth, he would want EVERYBODY to know who their ruler would be.

Back at the Fortress, Jor-El has frozen Clark's suit in a block of ice. We can only assume he'll give Clark the costume when he believes he's ready to wear it.

RATING:
9/10